You Could be My Everything
by thebeadedbutterfly
Summary: Lily is feeling ignored. Sirius offers a shoulder of support. But what if they begin to discover feelings they never expected to have?
1. The Kiss

A/N- Hey guys! This is going to be a Sirius/Lily story. If you don't like that, please don't read it. And let me just say for the record, I'm a huge fan of Lily/James. I just thought this idea would make a good story.  
  
And for all Fire Melts Ice fans, I'm still working on that one! I'm just going to make the chapters much longer because I think they're too short now. If you're a fan of Ginny/Draco, please go read that story. It's not much now, but I have big plans for it!  
  
  
  
You Could be My Everything  
  
"James!" Lily Evans shouted as she ran into the common room. "You have to see this!"  
  
"It's amazing, Prongs. You know that statue of the witch with one hump? Well, you know where that leads to??" Sirius Black hopped from foot to foot excitedly. The minute he and Lily had rushed into the common room, all previous conversations had ceased. They were all staring. The boys couldn't help staring at Lily Evans. Her red hair fell in curly tendrils that framed a face with sparkling green eyes. It wasn't her looks that drew everyone to her, though. She was sincerely nice to everyone. In Sirius' words: "Only Lily can compliment Snape and not curse herself for hours afterward.  
  
Speaking of Sirius, he was the reason all the girls were staring. He was arguably the second hottest guy at Hogwarts. The first was Lily's boyfriend James Potter. However, most girls chased after Sirius instead. James had been with Lily for three years now. He had short, spiky black hair and thoughtful brown eyes. His best friend, Sirius, had straight black hair that fell to his shoulders. His eyes were a piercing blue that could make any girl melt. At the moment, they were fixed on James.  
  
"Listen guys, it's not that I'm not interested, it's just I have so much to do. Could we talk about this at breakfast tomorrow?" James never looked up from his Transfiguration textbook. Lily's face immediately fell.  
  
"James, you're always busy lately. When will you have time to just hang out with us? We miss you." She bent next to him, her eyes pleading. "Please, just this once?"  
  
"I can't Lily. Sorry."  
  
She leaned in close and whispered her next words. Only James and Sirius could hear them. "I'll make it worth your while, James. I promise I will."  
  
He finally looked up, his agitated eyes meeting her hopeful ones. "Not tonight. I just can't. I need to get this done. I'm sorry that you can't understand that."  
  
"What I can't understand is why you never have time for me anymore? Am I your girlfriend or aren't I, James?"  
  
"Of course you are. And I love you. How about we spend all of Thursday together? Just you and me?" Lily finally nodded.  
  
"I guess I'll just let you work then." She turned and went back out through the portrait. James didn't even acknowledge her leaving. Sirius paused a minute, looked from James to the portrait, and then followed after Lily.  
  
*  
  
"Hey, Lil! Wait for me, alright?" Sirius hurried to catch up with her. "Listen, I know it seems to you like James doesn't care but..." His words died out as he saw her face. Tears were streaming down her cheeks and her eyes were red and puffy. Without a word, he pulled her into a hug. "Shh, Lil-Bil, don't cry. Everything's fine."  
  
When her shoulders stopped shaking, he finally looked into her eyes. "James loves you. You know that. I know that. He's just distracted right now."  
  
"I know, Sirius. But it's not just today. The Yule Ball's in a week and he never even asked me to it. He just assumes I'll go with him. And he just assumes he can treat me like crap and I'll stay with him. I know he doesn't mean to, but he does it nonetheless. Three years together doesn't mean he can just treat me like some piece of..luggage!  
  
"Well, that was some speech. Look, why don't we just go to Hogsmeade and try to forget about all this, ok? I'll buy you a pumpkin juice."  
  
"Make it a butterbeer and I'm there."  
  
*  
  
Two hours later, the two slipped back through the secret passage. Their cloaks jangled with the sounds of freshly bought Fillibuster Fireworks.  
  
"Shh," Sirius whispered. "I think I hear Filch." He pulled her into the nearest classroom. They waited in silence for a few moments.  
  
"Do you think it's safe now?" Lily questioned.  
  
"Maybe, but we should wait a few minutes just in case." Again, they waited in silence until Sirius spoke again. "Lily, I still mean what I said. James does love you. I just don't think he realizes how very lucky he is to have you. And he must be blind for that. I mean look at you, you're beautiful, you're smart, you're kind, you're like the perfect girl!"  
  
"Good thing it's dark, my face must be as red as my hair." They both laughed. "Thanks Sirius."  
  
"No thanks necessary. I call em' like I see em'."  
  
"I just can't help but wonder if James really is the guy for me. I know we're expected to be together and all that, but we never talk anymore. And if we can't talk, how can I honestly say that I love him?"  
  
"Maybe you can't. Maybe you don't. All I know is that James must be blind or very, very stupid. Or both."  
  
"Thanks so much for everything Sirius. Talking to me, taking me to Hogsmeade.you're an awesome friend." She leaned forward to give him a hug. He held her tight for a minute, then released her. A beam of moonlight shot through the window, illuminating her delicate features.  
  
"She's so beautiful. And so perfect. What's James' problem?" Sirius silently thought. The next thing he knew, he was leaning towards her, she was leaning towards him, her eyes shut.and their lips met.  
  
It was a gentle, searching kiss. It barely lasted five seconds, but Sirius had never known a kiss could stir up all these feelings. They pulled back at the same time, their breaths short and their eyes wide. They might have stayed like that for seconds, minutes, even hours. Except that at that moment, Remus Lupin stepped out of the shadows.  
  
"Just try to tell me that wasn't what it looked like."  
  
  
  
A/N- Looks like there's some explaining that needs to be done. Not all the chapters will be this short, don't worry! Please review!! 


	2. The Aftermath

A/N- I'm so glad you guys liked it! By the way, to all Americans- Happy Thanksgiving!  
  
Zoe Lefebvre- Yeah, James is being a bit of a jerk right now. But maybe he has a reason..  
  
Achintya- Lay off the sugar! LoL.  
  
Word Painter- Thanks for reviewing both!! You're my new favorite reviewer!  
  
Carissa- I love Lily/Sirius fics too. This probably won't be the last one of that pairing I ever write.  
  
Cho_look_alike- Thanks a bunch for reviewing!  
  
Quack Quack 88- I like your pen name! And you're right, James is always perfect.  
  
So, I don't know about you guys, but I'm anxious to see how Sirius and Lily attempt to explain this one.  
  
  
  
"Remus." Sirius' voice was little more than a whisper. "How long have you.?"  
  
"The whole thing. Sirius, I need to talk to you. Alone." Lily nodded slowly and made her way to the other end of the classroom.  
  
"Listen Remus."  
  
"No, you listen to me. James is your best friend. And Lily is his girlfriend. They love each other, Sirius. You can't possibly expect her to give up everything they had because of one kiss with you. It's not gonna happen. She's not gonna leave James for you."  
  
"Well, don't hold back."  
  
"Look, I'm sorry. But watching that kiss, it was like watching the most perfect thing I had ever known nearly break. And that's what will happen if you guys continue all this. You'll end up hating each other because of what you'll be causing each other to do. It's not fair!"  
  
"What's not fair is the way James is treating her. Have you seen that? He used to look at her like she was the most beautiful woman alive. Now it seems like he just glances through her."  
  
"Sirius, that's between James and Lily. Is that why you're doing this? To prove a point?"  
  
"No, I'm doing this because I love her." Remus stared, shocked at Sirius. "You love her?"  
  
"Yeah, I really do. I had never realized until today, but I am in love with her. I know this sounds crazy, but I honestly think she's the one for me."  
  
"So does James. For him, I mean."  
  
"Remus, you have to promise me. Don't tell him. Please. Lily and I will work this out. Just- please don't tell him."  
  
"I won't, only because this would crush him. I'll give you a month. At the end of the month, I tell him. He deserves to know the truth. But I hopefully won't have to tell him anything. Hopefully you two will work this 'thing' out." Remus shot Sirius one last searching gaze before he turned and left the room.  
  
Sirius shook his head and moved toward the front of the room. Lily was sitting at a desk, her head in her arms. "Lily?"  
  
"Sirius. Umm, hi."  
  
"Hi." They sat in an awkward silence. "Listen Lil, about that kiss.."  
  
"It didn't mean anything, don't worry. I was just having a rough time. We didn't mean to. It didn't mean anything.right?"  
  
"Exactly what I was thinking, Lily." Sirius said the words with great pain. "You're my amigo, pal, buddy."  
  
"Yep. Nothing more than that. Friends?"  
  
"The best." Sirius said aloud allow his heart was screaming 'more than'. They exited the classroom and walked the long stretch to the common room in silence.  
  
Lily walked through the portrait hole first. James was sitting exactly where he had been earlier. He turned at the sound of their footsteps.  
  
"Where have you been, Lily? I was worried." His tone was accusatory and his eyes were flashing.  
  
"Prongs, chill out. We just went to Hogsmeade."  
  
"Padfoot, stay out of this. Lily, why didn't you tell me you were leaving? I really was worried about you."  
  
"That's a laugh. You haven't thought about me in days, why start now?"  
  
"Lily, of course I worry about you. I love you."  
  
"Do you really, James? Then tell me. Tell me what's the matter. Tell me what's tearing you up inside. Trust me enough to tell me."  
  
"I wish I could, I really do. But, I can't."  
  
"Can't? Or won't?"  
  
"There's no difference."  
  
"Don't tell me that, James Potter. There's a huge difference!"  
  
"Let's just talk about this later, ok? I have a lot of stuff on my mind."  
  
"Tell me then! Let me help you!"  
  
"Why don't you mind your own damn business?" Lily shrank back. James never cursed to her. And they had never fought like this before.  
  
"I can't believe you just said that."  
  
"I, I can't either. I didn't mean it. Please, Lily, I'm so sorry. I love you. Don't be angry with me." He walked towards her, and Lily let him hug her. He wrapped his arms around her. Something was missing, though. His body was there, but his mind was in a different place entirely. A place he couldn't tell Lily about. The realization sent her spinning back to Earth and she stepped back abruptly.  
  
"Let's just talk about something else, ok James?"  
  
"Fair enough. I've been meaning to ask you what color your dress robes are. You know, for the Yule Ball."  
  
A million answers streamed through her head. 'You never even asked me!'-- 'Are we going together?' -'I want to go with Sirius!'. The final answered shocked and scared her. So she blurted out , "They're blue. Light blue."  
  
"You'll look beautiful. You always do." He leaned down to kiss her for the first time in a week. She forgot all about everything as his arms wrapped around her waist. Lily locked her arms behind his head, pulling him closer.  
  
And without a sound, Sirius left the room.  
  
  
  
A/N- Aww, poor Sirius. And what was that last answer Lily thought all about? I thought she just wanted to be friends! Hmm...well review! I'll scramble to get the next part out soon. 


	3. The Yule Ball: Part one

Achintya- Sorry about your candy!! Thanks again for reviewing- you're the best!  
  
NeverendingEcho- Thanks a bunch! And, the fight was actually based on one between two of my friends. I've never read Draco Veritas. Who wrote it? I'd like to read it.  
  
Carissa- Lily is confused! But, wouldn't you be too? Poor Lily.two cute guys both like her. I wish I had her life!  
  
Syrius-Undomie- Hmm, you might be converted? Awesome! I hope this story makes you a Sirius/Lily fan!  
  
The Yule Ball: Part One  
  
  
  
One Week Later:  
  
"James, we gotta go in three minutes. Forget your hair. It's never gonna look right."  
  
"Thanks so much for your support, Sirius. I just want to look nice, you know? After this, we only have the graduation dance in June. So, this is our second to last dance here at Hogwarts."  
  
"Oh, Jamesy! Do you have a hankie? I think I'm gonna cry." James stopped attempting to fix his hair long enough to send a glare towards Sirius. "Really, James, just chill out. You've got it made. Head Boy, the most beautiful girl in the school as your date."  
  
"Yeah, she really is gorgeous, huh?"  
  
"You are one lucky man."  
  
"Yeah, well don't get any ideas!" James cracked up. The idea of Lily and Sirius- it was just impossible. They were so different. And Lily was his girlfriend.  
  
A second later, Sirius joined in the laughter. Instead of sincere, his laughter was short and forced. An owl flying through the window cut their laughter short. It dropped a letter into James' hands.  
  
"Oh man, Sirius, I really gotta answer this one."  
  
"James, no. You have to go get Lily. Answer it later tonight."  
  
"You don't understand. I need to answer this now. Can you just tell Lily how sorry I am and take her down to the ball? You don't have a date, right?"  
  
His words were true. Sirius didn't have a date. It wasn't for lack of girls, though. He could honestly say without boasting that at least 90% of the girls in the school would kill to go with him. He had decided he would rather go alone though than go with another empty-headed girl. He just didn't want any of them. Nope, the one girl he wanted was unfortunately the only girl in the whole school he couldn't have.  
  
"Lily. Umm, sure, yeah, I'll take her to the ball."  
  
"Thanks so much, Sirius. This won't take more than half an hour, I promise."  
  
  
  
*  
  
A few minutes later, Sirius sat with the other guys in the common room. Each was waiting for their date to descend down the stairs. He glanced absentmindedly around. Remus, Peter, Josh, Chris..all were nervously shifting from foot to foot. His gaze then fell on one very unwelcome figure: Lucius Malfoy.  
  
"Malfoy. What the hell are you doing in my common room?"  
  
"Black. As always, it's charming to see you. If you must know, and apparently you must, Narcissa is my date."  
  
"Narcissa is going with you?"  
  
"She very much is."  
  
"But, Narcissa is nice. She's kind. She's pretty. To sum it all up, why is she going with you?"  
  
"Jealous, Black?"  
  
"Absolutely not." Sirius answered honestly. "You know very well we broke up over a year ago. She is a friend of mine, though. If you hurt her, you'll have me to answer to."  
  
"Not to mention us." Remus chimed in, as Peter, Josh, and Chris nodded with him. Josh and Chris were the other seventh year Gryffindors. They were nice guys, but they weren't very into pranks. Both had politely declined being a Marauder.  
  
All six boys turned as footsteps were heard. Narcissa stepped down gracefully in flowing robes of purple. She and Lucius told everyone goodbye and turned and left. Josh, Chris, and Peter also greeted their dates and left, leaving Remus and Sirius alone. They hadn't spoken for a week.  
  
"So, Sirius, how's it going?"  
  
"I've been better. You?"  
  
"About the same. Why are you still here? I thought you didn't have a date."  
  
"I'm picking up Lily." Remus' eyebrows shot up. "For James, I mean. Urgent owl.you know how it is."  
  
"Ummhmm." The boys stood in an awkward silence. "Listen, Sirius, have you and Lily talked?"  
  
"Sure, we talk every day."  
  
"Don't play stupid with me. I mean really talked."  
  
"Yeah, we decided it was just a fluke. Didn't mean anything."  
  
"That's funny. I thought you were in love with her."  
  
"Oh, that. That was just a joke, Moony. Just a bit of the Sirius sense of humor."  
  
"I'm not laughing."  
  
"That's your prerogative, I guess."  
  
"C'mon Sirius. I see the way you act with her. The way you look at her. I know you love her. And, I'm gonna hate myself later for saying this, but she looks at you the same way. I'm not saying I want you two to tear James apart with some little torrid love affair, but I am saying you guys need to talk. Really talk. If you guys have something together, James deserves to know. It's not fair to him, or either of you, to keep hiding all this stuff."  
  
"Lily looks at me a certain way?"  
  
"She looks at you like you are the world. Like nothing else matters. Like nothing else will ever matter again."  
  
"Moony, that's the way she looks at James."  
  
"No, that's the way she used to look at James." Again, the boys stood in silence. It wasn't awkward this time, though. Both were deep in thought. They snapped out of it only when Arabella, Remus' date, walked down the steps. She took his outstretched arm and they left through the portrait hole. And Sirius was left alone.  
  
  
  
*  
  
  
  
"Bella! Can I please borrow your eyeshadow?"  
  
"Go for it, Lily. Tonight's the night, right?"  
  
"Yep. Tonight's the night I'm gonna win James back." Since last week, she and James had barely spoken to each other. She and Sirius had barely spoken either. As much as it hurt to admit it, she was trying to avoid Sirius. He had stirred up a bunch of feelings that Lily wasn't ready for. James was who she was meant to be with, everyone said so. Lily had decided that they just weren't trying hard enough. She resolved to change that tonight.  
  
"Not to sound discouraging, but you never really lost him."  
  
"But I did, Bella. We never seem to connect anymore."  
  
"I don't know. You seemed to be connecting the other night in the common room.."  
  
"Not like that! I mean being able to talk to each other, about anything and everything. I miss that."  
  
"Well, if anything will persuade him, it's that robe. You look incredible." Lily was wearing a robe of satiny silver. It was spaghetti-stapped and dropped in a V-neck. It was fitted the whole way down. Her red hair was pulled up on top of her head. Curls spilled out of it.  
  
"You don't think it looks like I'm trying too hard, do you?"  
  
"Not a bit. How about me?"  
  
"That robe is amazing. Remus is going to be drooling."  
  
"Hopefully not all over my dress. Well, I'm gonna go down. You coming?"  
  
"In a minute. I just have to put in my earrings." Lily slid the diamond hoops through her ears and admired the overall effect in the mirror.  
  
"Ready or not, James Potter, here I come."  
  
  
  
*  
  
  
  
  
  
Sirius had sat alone for only a minute when he heard Lily's footsteps. After seven years of being friends with her, he had memorized everything about her. These steps were distinctly hers. She walked quickly and always took short steps. He could hear the clink, clink of her heels. And then he saw her.  
  
Sirius was vaguely aware that his mouth had fallen open, but he didn't care. Lily looked amazing. Her face caught him off guard, though. Tons of emotions spilled across it. Shock, confusion, disappointment, and then.a brief smile. The last one snapped him to reality.  
  
"Lily. You look...nice." As soon as he said it, he regretted it. He didn't want to sound too praising, but he longed to tell her she looked more beautiful than Aphrodite herself. He held himself back though.  
  
"Umm, thanks. Where's James?"  
  
"He had an urgent owl. He's so sorry. He just asked me to tell you and take you down to the ball."  
  
"Oh." She paused. "Well, let's go then." She shot him a small smile.  
  
  
  
*  
  
  
  
  
  
Sirius had imagined his final Yule Ball many times. He had never dreamed he would walk in with Lily, though. 'Just as a favor to James,' he silently reminded himself. They walked to a table with Remus and Arabella. Just as they were settling in, a slow song came on. Remus and Arabella left to dance.  
  
"So, Lily, do you want to dance?"  
  
"I'd love to Sirius."  
  
He led her out onto the floor, and then pulled her into his arms. She wrapped her arms tightly around his neck and rested her head against his chest. Holding her close like this was almost unbearable. All he wanted to do was grab her and kiss her like there was no tomorrow. He realized with a sigh that he couldn't pretend anymore. He couldn't pretend to think of her as just a friend. He had to tell her the truth.  
  
"Lily, can I talk to you?" She nodded and followed him out into the deserted garden.  
  
  
  
  
  
A/N- Sorry to leave you guys like that! A major chapter is coming up next. Sirius and Lily will honestly talk about their feelings. But will they talk about these feelings with James? Hmm. And what's up with mysterious James? What's he hiding? Keep reading and you'll find all these things out-- in time. Review! 


	4. The Yule Ball: Part Two

A/N- I have to apologize guys. That cliffie was seriously evil. Sorry!! I got this one out pretty soon though, right? It kinda makes up for it..  
  
Carissa- I'm glad you still love. Thanks again for reviewing!  
  
Ciara- I love Sirius/Lily too. I know that cliffie was awful, again, I'm sorry.  
  
Achintya- You've reviewed this three times!! You are so awesome!! I can't believe you guessed why James is being so mysterious. Was it really that obvious? And they're in seventh year, by the way. Thanks bunches for reviewing!  
  
The Yule Ball: Part Two  
  
"Lily, there's something we really need to talk about. Ever since last week, I haven't been able to stop thinking about that kiss. It was incredible. I never knew I could feel that way about a girl. And then you told me we were just friends. So I agreed. But, I can't, Lily. I can't just be friends with you. What I'm trying to say is- I'm in love with you."  
  
"You can't be."  
  
"Well, not exactly the reaction I was hoping for, but at least you didn't slap me. Are you saying that you don't feel anything for me?"  
  
"No, that's not it. It's just- I'm James' girlfriend. You're his best friend. Are you seeing the problem?"  
  
"Believe me, I've thought about little else for the past few days. But I can't help the way I feel. If you don't feel the same way, I guess that's ok. I'll try as hard as I can to get over you. It won't be easy, but I'll try, I really will."  
  
"I don't know what I feel. When you kissed me, I liked it. I liked it a lot. And I can see myself loving you, in fact, I'm not convinced I don't. It's just, we would never work out. You wouldn't be able to stand losing James. And I wouldn't be able to stand breaking up your and James' friendship."  
  
"I understand all that, but if you have feelings for me, we have to try. Or else, we'll never know what we're missing. I'll say it again. I love you Lily Evans. With all of my heart."  
  
She gazed up at him, her green eyes shining in the night. Then, she tentatively reached up and placed her hand behind his head. She pulled him to her slowly. Their eyes stayed wide open and trained on each other. They only closed when their lips met. At first, they each held back, unsure of what it all meant. Then, Sirius wrapped his arms around her and pulled her to him. And Lily let herself kiss him the way she had been wanting to for a week, probably even more. They clutched at each other as the kiss grew deeper. Finally, they drew back, breathless.  
  
"That was..."  
  
"Amazing." Lily whispered. "I, I love you Sirius."  
  
"Do you honestly mean it, Lily? Because I won't be able to take it if you don't."  
  
"It seem impossible, but I do. And I think I have for awhile. I just didn't let myself feel it."  
  
"And what do you feel like now?"  
  
"Kissing you again."  
  
"Well, if you insist," Sirius murmured as he lowered his head to hers.  
  
*  
  
  
  
After a few more kisses, Sirius pulled back. "This isn't right, Lily. Not yet. Not when I'm still confused about you and James."  
  
"I'm confused too."  
  
"It's simple: who do you love more?"  
  
"It's not that simple and you know it. I can't break up with him, Sirius. Not like this. You'd hate me."  
  
"I could never hate you."  
  
"You say that now, but you would. I'd tear you and James apart. And you'd hate me forever for it. You wouldn't mean to, but you would nonetheless."  
  
"Then what exactly are you saying we should do? Forget about us?"  
  
"No! That's not what I'm saying at all. Maybe we should just keep this a secret for awhile, see how everything goes. We might discover that we don't actually love each other. And we would never have to hurt James then."  
  
"Lily! I'm shocked! Are you proposing we have a secret affair?"  
  
"Those aren't the words I'd choose, but yes. I guess I am." She looked up at him almost defiantly. "Unless you don't love me after all?"  
  
"Oh, I love you all right. And besides, you look kinda sexy when you're plotting how to hide affairs from your boyfriend. Do you practice it or something?"  
  
"Nah, it just comes naturally." Their laughs resounded across the empty garden. Sirius slipped his arm around her shoulder and pulled her to him. They were still like this when James' voice cut across the silent air.  
  
"Lily! Sirius! You guys out here?" The couple sprang apart instantaneously.  
  
"Umm, yeah James, right over here." Sirius was the first to recover his voice.  
  
"I've been looking for you guys everywhere."  
  
"And you found us." Lily said coolly.  
  
"Lily, I am so sorry. You have no idea. I had to answer this owl though. It couldn't have waited. Let me make it up to you." He grabbed her and gave her a kiss. Sirius' lip was nearly bleeding from how hard he was biting it. James' back was to him and Sirius had to resist the urge to punch him from behind. But then, Lily's eyes opened. And she was staring directly at Sirius. After about five seconds, James pulled back. "Lily, I love you so much."  
  
"And I love you." Lily responded, but her eyes never left Sirius' face.  
  
"I love you too," Sirius silently mouthed back.  
  
"How bout we go tear up the dance floor, babe?" James questioned.  
  
"Sure, James."  
  
"How about you Sirius? I saw a bunch of pretty girls in there. Why don't you go work your charms?"  
  
"I think I'll pass. In fact, I'm gonna just go crash upstairs. See you later James. Bye Lily." He turned and walked back towards the castle. He was nearly there when he stopped and turned around. "Oh, and Lily, I lied earlier. You look gorgeous."  
  
"Thanks, Sirius."  
  
  
  
*  
  
  
  
It was strange that Lily would feel this way now. She was in James' arms. A month ago, she would have been thrilled. But now, she just wished he were Sirius.  
  
She had felt it the moment Sirius had kissed her. It felt like something was dying, but at the same time, a new and more exciting thing was beginning. The guilt was almost unbearable, though.  
  
Even now, she felt like sobbing. The instant their lips had met, she had known it was over. Nothing would ever be the same again. No matter what happened now, things would never be as they once had. It was exciting, but it was also devastating.  
  
And, James. She knew she had to tell him. She could never keep something like this from him. A part of her still loved him, she supposed. A part of her always would. If things were different, she could see the rest of her life with him. But things weren't different. And she couldn't imagine a lifetime with James, not now. In one night, Sirius had made her feel more emotion than James had in three years.  
  
"I have to tell him." Lily silently thought. "Soon."  
  
*  
  
The next morning, the table was quiet. Lily and Sirius were deep in thought about their newly developed relationship. Remus was examining the looks they were giving each other and trying to figure it all out. And James was thinking about what occupied all of his brain these days.  
  
"So, Christmas is coming." Lily broke the silence.  
  
"Christmas! That reminds me. You three plus Peter are all invited to the manor for Christmas break. It should be a lot of fun."  
  
"Thanks Sirius, but I can't. My parents are taking me to Paris." Remus said. "And Peter, he can't either. He's going to stay with his aunt in America."  
  
"Oh well, I guess it's just us three then, huh guys?" Sirius said, attempting cheerfulness. A whole week with just him, James, and Lily? That spelled trouble, with a capital T.  
  
"Actually, I can't either. My brother's coming home this year. I can't miss it. But maybe I'll be able to visit you a few times?" James said.  
  
"Sure, James. Sounds like a plan. What about you, Lily? What plans do you have?"  
  
"I don't have any, Sirius. So I'll be able to come, that is, if you still want me to."  
  
"Of course, Lily. It'll still be lots of fun."  
  
A whole week, just him and Lily? Fun was an understatement.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
A/N- I can't wait for the next chapter! Just Sirius and Lily for a whole week, woohoo! LoL- sorry! I got a lil carried away. Review, Review, Review and I'll get the next part out faster. Also, if you guys have extra time, could you check out my other story "Fire Melts Ice"? I can't decide whether or not to continue it. This story is becoming much more important to me, so I might just wait until I finish this one before I continue that one. 


	5. Goodbye to James and confusion

A/N- I'm back! LoL. I finally have some time, and this story means so much to me. So I'm gonna try my best to continue it and update it. Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed and urged me to keep going!! I love you guys! I hope that I don't let you down.  
  
Chapter 6: Saying Goodbye to James.and confusion  
  
"James!" Lily's voice called up the steps to the boy's dormitories. "Are you up there?" She waited all of three seconds for an answer, then ran up the stairs and pushed the door open. Chris's head poked out of his curtain, his blond hair sticking up all over the place.  
  
"Lily?" His light green eyes slowly focused on her. "What are you doing here?"  
  
"James!" She shrieked. "Wake up! I want to say goodbye to you! And Sirius..your parents will be here in ten minutes! Get up!" The second she opened her mouth, Peter had screamed, Remus had shot straight up, Josh had hit his head on his bedpost, and James had fell with a distinctive thump to the ground. Chris smiled sleepily, and Sirius..slept on.  
  
Lily knelt with a smile next to James. "Morning, James dear. It's good to see you awake."  
  
"I wish I could say it's good to be awake, but I'd be lying. Do you have any idea how good of a dream I was having?"  
  
"Was it that one you had involving me, you, and that jar of chocolate paint?"  
  
"Actually, it was about quidditch." Lily's smile disappeared. "How'd you know about that one anyway?"  
  
"Sirius told me." Her tone was flat and expressionless.  
  
"Damn him and his big mouth. I can't tell him anything." James playfully shoved his best friend off of his bed. Amazingly, Sirius continued to sleep.  
  
"James, can we go say goodbye? In private?" She ignored the catcalls coming from the boys, although her pink cheeks indicated she could hear them perfectly fine.  
  
"Sure, Lil. Let's go down to the common room." They walked out, with Lily calling over her shoulder to 'Please wake Sirius!'  
*  
  
Lily walked to the fireplace and picked a box wrapped in glowing silver wrapping paper off it.  
  
"I know it's not Christmas yet, James, but I just wanted to give you your present in person. This will be the first Christmas we've spent apart in 5 years."  
  
"I have your present too, Lily. Do you want to open first, or should I?"  
  
"Here, James." She said. "You open first." He slowly untied the ribbon and tore off the paper. He opened a box and pulled out a miniature replica of the quidditch field. Miniature players zoomed around on miniature broomsticks. And in the middle of the field, a black haired boy and a red haired girl were kissing. They simultaneously remembered that day, three years earlier:  
  
"You won, James! You've won the Quidditch cup!" The second the snitch had been caught, Lily had run onto the field. Now she hugged her best friend, James Potter, as tight as she possibly could. Neither of them could contain their excitement.  
  
"I know, Lil, isn't it unbelievable?"  
  
"James, you were awesome! You must have scored at least 10 or 15 goals yourself!"  
  
"It's due to you, you know." Lily pulled back, her face confused. James plunged nervously on. "You're my good luck charm, Lily. You and Sirius are my best friends in the world, and having you two here, watching me play.it's indescribable. I feel like I can do anything!" She hugged him tightly again. This time, it was James who pulled back.  
  
"Listen, Lily.this isn't how I pictured telling you this, but, I don't have room for two best friends in my life. And Sirius, he's like a brother to me. So, we can't be best friends anymore." Lily's face completely fell. She backed away from James, her eyes filling with tears. He grabbed her arm. "Wait, Lily, hear me out. We can't be best friends anymore, because.it's not enough for me. I can't just be friends with you. I'm in love with you, Lily Evans."  
  
"Oh, James, I'm in love with you, too! I thought you'd never notice me, never." Her next words were silenced forever by James pressing his lips to hers, right there, in the middle of the quidditch field, with the sun shining down on them and broomsticks circling overhead.  
  
Lily slowly shook the memory of fourteen year old James Potter from her mind. He sat in front of her now, seventeen years old, with a look of astonishment on his face.  
  
"Lily, this is truly the best gift anyone has even given me. It must have taken you days to charm all of it."  
  
"It was worth it, seeing the look on your face."  
  
"Thank you, thank you so much, Lily. I love you."  
  
"I love you, too, James." They kissed briefly, with Lily being more confused than she had even been. She did love James, she knew that was true. Yet, she also knew that she loved Sirius. When James had been cold and distant, it had been so much easier to justify her actions with Sirius. But now, here he was, smiling and laughing with her, and telling her he loved her. She broke off the kiss, her mind spinning.  
  
"Here, Lily, here's your gift." Slowly, he pulled a long red box out from under his robe. She studied it. It was the exact same size as a necklace box. She remembered the necklace she had seen in Hogsmeade that night with Sirius, a white lily dangling on a gold chain. She had exclaimed over the beauty of it and Sirius had reminded her that Christmas wasn't too far off. That necklace.it would fit perfectly into this box.  
  
With trembling hands, she untied the red ribbon. Merlin, it was a necklace box! She slowly popped open the lid to reveal a beautiful.quill.  
  
"It's a quick-notes quill. I know you lost yours a few weeks ago. Do you like it?"  
  
What kind of question was that, Lily silently asked herself. It was a quill. You did not get your girlfriend of three years a quill for Christmas! You got her something meaningful. something like she had given James. She slowly swallowed her disappointment. For a minute there, it had seemed like she had the old James back. But now, looking at his face and the quill, she saw how wrong she had been. He was as distant as ever. And she was no longer confused about him and Sirius.  
  
"This is exactly what I needed." She said softly. Only in her heart did she know the true meaning of her words.  
A/N- I'm so sorry! That chapter is so short!! And I lied. we didn't have any Sirius/Lily action in it! In fact, all Sirius did during this was sleep, lol. Oh well, we'll get to their action next chapter. I just wanted to include some background info on Lily and James's relationship. I'll try to get the next part up ASAP. Until then, please review! 


	6. Comparing Brooms

Chapter 6: Comparing "Brooms"  
  
James and Lily were sitting silently in the common room when Sirius finally came downstairs. Despite having just woken up three minutes ago, he looked like a model, without a single hair out of place. Lily desperately hoped James wouldn't notice her pink cheeks.  
  
"Morning, Prongs. Ready to go, Lily?"  
  
"You bet. I just have to get my bags."  
  
"Don't worry about it, I'll get them. You stay down here and say goodbye to James."  
  
"Thanks Sirius." She turned and faced James. "So, this is it. Have a great vacation. Stay out of trouble!"  
  
"Don't I always?"  
  
"Not hardly, James. And I want to come back from break with you in one piece. You do remember last year, don't you?"  
  
"In my defense, that was Sirius's idea."  
  
"Oh yes, and I always listen to him when he says we should go sledding off the top of the Astronomy tower."  
  
"You should. It was one hell of an afternoon."  
  
"And I'm sure it was one hell of a night in the infirmary."  
  
"It was. You came and visited me, remember?"  
  
"Of course I do."  
  
"I'm really going to miss you this Christmas, Lily." He leaned forward and covered her lips with his own. He had just pulled her closer when a loud BANG made them spring apart.  
  
"Whoops, sorry about that." Sirius stood at the foot of the stairs, her trunk at his feet and a scowl on his face.  
  
"No problem, Padfoot. Take good care of my girl, will ya?"  
  
"You know I will."  
  
James turned to face Lily. "Bye sweetheart. I really will miss you." They kissed one more time, briefly.  
  
"Bye, James. I'll miss you, too." Then she turned and followed Sirius out of the portrait hole.  
*  
Sirius couldn't get the image of James and Lily out of his mind. He kept seeing them kiss, again and again. He was in love with Lily, but sometimes , he had to wonder if the love really went two ways. But then he would remember the Yule Ball. They way she had kissed him and told him she loved him.  
  
"Sirius!" Lily's voice broke into his train of thoughts. "You passed up the broom shed." He turned around abruptly. "Sirius, is something the matter?"  
  
"Oh, you mean besides seeing the girl I love kiss someone else? Nope. I'm just peachy."  
  
"Sirius, don't. Don't act jealous. You knew from the start I had to act like I was still in love with James."  
  
"Act, yes. Kiss? When was that part of the bargain?"  
  
"Sirius, I'll say it again. I'm in love with you. Not James. You."  
  
"I know that Lily. It's just sometimes, I see you two, and I can't help but see how happy you are together. Who am I to screw that up?"  
  
"Sirius, do you know what James gave me for Christmas? A quill! A damn quill! How can someone who's in love with me give me a quill for Christmas? You saw what I gave him. It took me months to make. I started working on it last June. The robes on those quidditich players are only sold at one place. Plus, they're sold out a lot. So, even when I had those...."  
  
"Lily, you're babbling."  
  
"Sorry, I can't help it."  
  
"Yeah? Well, I can." He pulled her to him and kissed her with all his might. One hand wrapped around the back of her neck. The other located the door knob and opened the broom shed. He pulled her into the small room, his hand now looping around her waist. He was slowly walking backwards, until his food caught on a broomstick, and he fell to the ground, Lily on top of him. Her eyes were wide and then slowly, she began to laugh. She laughed as Sirius hadn't heard her laugh in months.  
  
"Lily Evans, are you laughing at me?"  
  
"Why, yes, Sirius Black, I believe I am. Why, does it turn you on?"  
  
"You have no idea." Again, he pulled her to him for a kiss. Then, with a swift turn, he had her pinned on the ground, his body on top of hers. He was propped up on his elbows, so his weight wouldn't crush her. In that instant, she first experienced what the legendary "Sirius's seductive smile" could do to a girl.  
  
"Wow, Sirius. That was..........well, it was really sexy. How did you learn to flip girls on their backs like that?"  
  
"I watched a lot of James Bond movies as a kid."  
  
"James Bond, huh? He's pretty slick and...oh god, Sirius, if you keep that up we'll never leave this broom shed."  
  
He pulled his wandering lips off her skin for a brief second. "And that's a problem because..?"  
*  
Twenty minutes and many kisses later, Sirius and Lily were in the air. Sirius had transfigured their trunks into miniature versions he had slipped into his pocket. Because Lily didn't have a broom of her own, they were sharing one. Her hands were tightly wrapped around his waist. Sirius knew that she was a little scared of flying, and took the opportunity to practice his dives and spins.  
  
"Sirius Black!" Lily screamed in his ear. "Stop that right now!"  
  
"Or what?"  
  
"Or no more kisses." Sirius's broom immediately righted itself and it was a smooth ride all the rest of the way to his house.  
  
When he landed, Lily was smiling smugly. "If I didn't know better, I'd say you were whipped, Sirius."  
  
"Well, then I guess it's good for me that you don't know better. By the way," Sirius's tone was playful. "what'd you think of my broom?"  
  
"Hmm...I've seen better." Sirius's mouth dropped open in mock outrage. "James's for instance."  
  
"Why, you little.." Sirius chased Lily all around his sprawling front yard.  
  
Lily's faint cry of "But Sirius, his is a Nimbus 1990!" could barely be heard over their breathless laughter.  
A/N- Another short chapter....sorry. This one was much cuter than the last one was, though, don't you agree? I just love Sirius and Lily. And hopefully, we should find out what the matter w/James is soon. Not too soon, though, cuz I really love writing Lily and Sirius together. We don't need James in the picture for awhile, now do we? Don't forget to review! 


	7. Suspicious Grass Stains

Chapter 7: Suspicious Grass Stains  
  
"I'll ask you again, Lily Evans." Sirius had caught her by the waist, dragged her to the ground, and pinned her there. "What'd you think of my broom?"  
  
"That's an interesting question, Sirius. If you're referring to that piece of wood over there, it's quite lovely. And if you're referring to something else," At this point Lily blushed and cleared her throat. "I haven't exactly seen it, now have I?"  
  
"Uh-uh, not good enough. We're going to need a better answer than that to let you up."  
  
"Well, then, my ever so handsome and sexy Sirius, if your 'broom' is anything like the rest of you, I'm sure it is extremely studly and swoonworthy." Lily's face was now beet red, but he could see her trying to suppress a smile.  
  
"Now that is an excellent answer." He stood and extended his hand to help her up. She accepted it, stood, and promptly shoved him down with all her might. Then she ever so gracefully sat down on top of him.  
  
"Well, the tables have turned, now haven't they?"  
  
"Can't.....breathe."  
  
"Sirius! Surely you're not implying that I'm fat?"  
  
"You, fat? No possible way. I think I was implying that you're sitting on my ribs."  
  
"Oops, sorry!" Lily sang out brightly, without moving an inch. "I'll get up, if you answer my question."  
  
"Anything."  
  
"All right, then. Why do you love me?"  
  
"What makes you think I'm in love with you?" Lily promptly wiggled around a bit, causing even more air to leave his lungs. "Ok, ok! I love you because you're the kindest person I've ever known. You have an amazing sense of humor. You have a smile to rival the beauty of the sunset. You're the most intelligent witch at Hogwarts, and you're not afraid to show it. When no one else understands me, you do. I love you because of how you chew on your lip when you're frustrated. I love you because of the way you run your hands through your hair when you're worried. Hell, I even love you because of the way you're nice to Snape. Because when it gets right down to it, Lily, I love every single thing about you. There's not a thing you could possibly do that would ever lessen my love. Plus, I gotta be honest with you...you have to be the hottest woman alive."  
  
Throughout his whole speech, Lily's eyes had rapidly been growing moister. Now her whole face broke into a smile. "Wow, that was really deep. Up until the whole hottest woman part, at least."  
  
"What can I say? I'm a very 'serious' kind of guy."  
  
"Oh no! Not the dreaded Sirius/serious joke. You promised you wouldn't tell another one!"  
  
"Oops, I lied."  
  
"I'll just have to punish you then." She lowered her lips to his and kissed him soundly.  
  
"Lily, that was an amazing kiss and all, but you're still sitting on my ribs."  
  
"Oh, I'm sorry!" She promptly sprang up. "I kind of forgot."  
  
"How very disappointing for my ribs that you did."  
*  
"Mrs Black! It's great to see you again!" Lily enveloped Sirius's mother in a huge hug.  
  
"Oh, Lily, it's been much too long. We've missed you around this house."  
  
"I'm sorry I couldn't come this summer. My parents sprang that cruise on met at the last minute."  
  
"Think nothing of it my dear. Where are all the boys?"  
  
"Well, Sirius is putting away his broom, and James, Remus, and Peter couldn't come"  
  
"Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. Are you and James still an 'item'?"  
  
"Yes, Mrs. Black. We are."  
  
"That's so sweet. James is such a nice boy. Not like this little ruffian I raised." Mrs. Black said as Sirius walked into the kitchen.  
  
"Ruffian? Me?" Sirius said with the voice of an angel. He hugged his mom and dropped a kiss on her cheek. "It's great to see you, Mum. Where are Dad and Katy?" Katy was Sirius's 19 year old sister. She had graduated from Hogwarts two years before and now worked as a teacher at a wizard grade school.  
  
"Your father's away on business for two days and Katy had a date. Good lord, you two are all covered in grass and mud. What happened?"  
  
Sirius and Lily exchanged a guilty smile. Sirius quickly lied, "Oh, we had a bit of an accident on the broom. We'll go clean up."  
  
The moment they left the kitchen, Sirius grabbed Lily's hand and dragged her up the stairs. "C'mon Lily, I'll show you to your room." This was Lily's third year in a row staying at the Black Mansion over Christmas break, and each year, Sirius always demanded to show everyone their room. Lily dutifully 'oohed' and 'aahed' over the same yellow room she always had. Of course, it was quite pretty, with its huge window overlooking a picturesque lake.  
  
"Oh, Lily, I still have your trunk." Sirius pulled a miniature trunk out of his pocket. "Let's see what we have here." He muttered, popping the trunk open. "My, my, my, Lily." Sirius teased, pulling a purple bra the size of a thimble out. "What have we here?"  
  
"All right, that's enough of that." Lily grabbed her trunk and the miniature bra out of his hands.  
  
"Oh, I forgot to tell you. The Patil's Christmas party is tonight, Lily."  
  
"When do you want me to be ready?"  
  
"Is an hour enough time?"  
  
"I'll meet you at the foot of the stairs in an hour."  
*  
One hour later, Sirius stood in his black dress robes at the foot of the stairs, tapping his foot impatiently.  
  
"C'mon, Lily, hurry up." And a second later, there she was. And she was well worth the wait. "Oh...my....god."  
  
Lily was wearing a strapless robe of icy blue. It was fitted all the way down to her matching heels. Her hair was down, in loose and fiery curls. A single diamond on a silver chain draped on her lovely neck.  
  
"Lily you look...indescribable. You're beyond gorgeous. You've blown stunning out of the water. You've demolished beautiful."  
  
"C'mon Romeo, we've got a party to go to." She walked calmly past him, throwing a "You don't look so bad yourself." over her shoulder. 


End file.
